500 Days of Marriage

9/11/13

08743f888ec225696e0e536bc6993f7eFirst things first, I have made it to Connecticut safe and sound. The weather already feels like fall and everything is beyond beautiful here. I definitely miss Atlanta but I think this is an ideal place to soothe any homesickness

Since this blog is a new space, I’m going to try writing about an array of things and see what sticks. Today I’m going to write about my marriage, which is something I’ve never done before. Long story short, while I was reflecting on our marriage, I decided to see how long we’ve been married. Turns out today is 500 days so this seemed as good a time as any to write about the subject.

Over Labor Day, we attended the wedding of a beloved friend of mine from college. It was a Quaker ceremony so it was full of genuine and diverse stories about the couple, love and life. It was all the more pertinent because we had gotten into one of those stupid fights on the way to the wedding. We were lost and the later it got, the more lost we seemed to get which led to a whole lot of bad behavior. I’m sure our story isn’t unique. That day, we were lucky to have a reason to step outside of ourselves and thankfully seeing a couple as happy and perfect for each other as these two reminded us of what it was all about.

I love being married, but life with another person can be really hard(and from what I understand, no one is immune from this fact). I think during the first few years of our relationship I was so focused on my side of the street and opening myself up to truly being authentic and loved that without meaning to, I figured that once I fixed my individual glaring problems that the rest would more or less fall into place as long as I was willing to do the work.

Funny thing is, like most things in my life, the assumption of how it’s going to go is far from what ends up happening.  I understood that this marriage thing was a big deal, but since a lot about our day to day life was going to be the same, I didn’t expect much to change.

A lot did, it would take me a long time to sort through and articulate what exactly all the changes were, but so much about my worldview shifted. Not in that co-dependent way I always feared but in many subtle emotional and spiritual changes. It brings a lot of joy to my life, as well as challenges. In yet another example of perfect timing, while browsing one of my favorite blogs, A Cup of Jo, I came across this beautiful entry which not only reminded me what to do when things get challenging but to be grateful to have found my fellow.

Love & Light

1 comment:

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